By my
early teens,
I had almost completely internalized
my father's masculine identity.
But I did receive one last lesson,
and this related specifically
to relationships with other men.
There was another boy in my neighborhood,
my age,
who I became close friends with.
We spent a great deal of time with each other,
sometimes spending the night
at one another's house.
At first
my father encouraged the friendship,
but I guess it eventually crossed
an invisible line.
He began to taunt me,
refering to my companion
as my girlfriend.
I was too young
to completely understand
his innuendos,
but I got the message.
Shortly afterwards
the sleepovers ended,
and with time
the relationship did too.
I understood
that sleeping with another boy
was forbidden,
but I didn't understand why.
As most everything else,
this wasn't explained in any fashion.
But I was well-schooled enough
to realize that,
along with most other taboos
of the male world,
it involved something contrary
to the natural laws of the world.
It seems . . .