page 14 of 30												index

  
		

By my 

		early teens, 
		I had almost completely internalized 
		my father's masculine identity. 
		
		But I did receive one last lesson, 
		and this related specifically 
		to relationships with other men.
		 
		
		
		
		There was another boy in my neighborhood, 
		my age, 
		who I became close friends with. 
		
		We spent a great deal of time with each other, 
		sometimes spending the night 
		at one another's house. 
		
		At first 
		my father encouraged the friendship, 
		but I guess it eventually crossed 
		an invisible line.
		
		 He began to taunt me, 
		 refering to my companion 
		 as my girlfriend. 
		 
		 I was too young 
		 to completely understand 
		 his innuendos, 
		 but I got the message. 
		 
		 Shortly afterwards 
		 the sleepovers ended, 
		 and with time 
		 the relationship did too. 
		 
		 I understood 
		 that sleeping with another boy 
		 was forbidden,
		
		
		
		 but I didn't understand why. 
		 
		 
		 
		 As most everything else, 
		 this wasn't explained in any fashion.
		  
		 
		 But I was well-schooled enough 
		 to realize that, 
		 along with most other taboos 
		 of the male world, 
		 it involved something contrary 
		 to the natural laws of the world.
		 
		 
It seems . . .